05.01.08
Fiber, it'll make you poo!
I know people always bitch when a song by a band they like is on a commercial or in some OC inspired TV show but want to know how to really ruin a song for somebody?
CUE THE FLASHBACK: I'm on a bus with all the students in Qatar heading back to the hotel after a long day at the conference. The day prior we had been treated to Bryan Adams ('Everything I Do' being a highlight) so I was somewhat curious to see what other pop culture hand me downs had made it over here. That night it turned out to be that Peter Bjorn and John song that has been everywhere from Grey's Anatomy to your mom's butthole.
I shook my head and the girl across the seat from me asked what was wrong? I smiled and said that I fucking was sick of this song, it used to be good but had crossed that perilous line from cute to precious to in the iPod of every self styled quirky girl who self consciously wears different patterned knee socks and a crocheted hat, possibly pom-pom'ed.
The girl, who had quickly established herself as a hippie with her tie dyed muumuus, prolonged rants against corporate America, and loving descriptions of her own personal compost pile, glanced upward at the speakers playing the song.
"Oh, I don't listen to popular music," she said in a tone that screamed "YOU FUCKING PLEBE"
"Oh..." I said, facing the seat in front of me, trying to signal that our exchange was over.
Unfortunately my near Autistic avoidance of making eye contact with her didn't phase her.
"I like to listen to ambient sounds of the jungle, I've got a couple CDs of it," she said in a sentence I swear to Gaw' I'm not making up, "The thunderstorm recordings are great..."
"Mhm Okay"
"...for sex."
Pause.
Pause.
"Oh...really...?"
"It makes your orgasms that much more intense."
"I...I see..."
"Plus it's just good music to work to"
"Gotcha."
So that my friends, is how you ruin a song. I was reminded of this incident when I walked by one of the girl's rooms on my floor and the song was playing. I came to my senses an hour later half a mile down the street in the fetal position. There's blood on my hands and it's not mine.
ratherbored at 20:16